Good and Bad Sentences

BAD SENTENCES
No crime. No temptation. No adversity. No drugs. No vulgarity. No gang. Pure happiness. Total innocence. Life is easy. Life is good. Sound like Heaven? Nope! It's Utah often referred to as "The Bubble." Provo, of course, is "The bubble within the bubble." They say that people who grew up here have never experienced real life. Well, if you're one of the people who believes that, let me burst your bubble. Life is as real in Provo as it is anywhere else.
Whenever I say I'm from Provo I get that look. That look like I'm from another planet. Like the worst temptation I have ever had was when my friend offered me a Dr. Pepper. Or when my older brother rented Dumb and Dumber. I attended an institute class in Texas last summer. The teacher said something about Utah mormons. He said, "I know it's not easy for any of you.” Then he said, “it's not like you live in Provo, Utah." I often hear the phrase "Utah Mormon." Like we belong to a different religion than the rest of you. Whether spoken or not, this attitude among so many church members is divisive. It's also incorrect. BYU students need to get real about Provo.

GOOD SENTENCES
No crime, no temptation, no adversity, no drugs, no vulgarity, and no gangs…pure happiness, total innocence, life is easy, life is good… Sound like Heaven? Nope – it's Utah – often referred to as "The Bubble," And Provo, of course, is "The bubble within the bubble." They say that people who grew up here have never experienced real life. Well, if you're one of the people who believes that, let me burst your bubble, life is as real in Provo as it is anywhere else.
Whenever I say I'm from Provo, I get that look – like I'm from another planet. Like the worst temptation I have ever had was when my friend offered me a Dr. Pepper, or when my older brother rented Dumb and Dumber. I attended an institute class in Texas last summer—the teacher was talking about temptation and actually said, "I know it's not easy for any of you guy, after all, it's not like you live in Provo, Utah." I often hear the phrase, "Utah Mormon" – like we belong to a different religion than the rest of you. Whether spoken or not, this attitude among so many church members is divisive and it's also incorrect. BYU students need to get real about Provo.