I absolutely hate watching the evening news. I try to avoid it at all costs, but there are those few circumstances when it will come on after another show and I will catch a glimpse of it. Whenever this happens, it is only a matter of seconds after, that I find myself searching for the remote and flipping to another channel that is not so disheartening and depressing. It was made extremely apparent to me how much I despise the news one week ago when I heard that a young girl had been hit and killed by a driver while crossing University Avenue by the football stadium. Hearing this horrible news was devastatingly shocking to me, and sent uncontrollable chills down my spine. Thoughts of, “How easily could that have been me?” flooded my brain. It made me sick to hear that one of my fellow colleague’s lives was taken by simply crossing the street. This could have been any one of us students here at BYU. If you are reading this paper, then most likely you crossed a busy Provo street to get onto campus previously today. This could have been you! Not only is this student’s family suffering from the loss of their loved one, but also how horrible must the driver of the deadly vehicle feel? Even though they were completely innocent they must live with the fact that they killed another human being. Throughout the rest of their life, the nightmare of this day will forever haunt them.
Titles
Pronounced Dead! Do you want this to be you?
Losing lives left and right
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I am also writing about the dangers about the dangers that pedestrians face and reckless driving. I think that you made very good emotional appeals (pathos), and you have picked a topic that is very relevant to your audience at this time. The one thing that I think could use some work is establishing your authority on the issue. Do you have any specific incidents that you could share? I think that you made a good choice with your title, because it is not to over the top and still interesting and was one of the reasons that I actually took the time to read it. Good work.
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