Get Water! Book Burning in Effect!
The temperature on campus has risen to a scorching 451 degrees. This is the temperature at which paper blazes and books burn. The nightmare has finally been realized and the tragic truth that the Harold B Lee Library, what many faculty and students call the hub of campus academics will be burned to the ground. The authorization of President Samuelson was given to Provo Pyrotechnics, a local demolition and pyrotechnics company, and he answered our why in yesterday’s press conference. “The decommissioning of this library was inevitable and it was only a matter of time until internet information databases conquered the heart of the student researcher.” he said. He listed databases such as Wikipedia, Google’s search engine, and YouTube. A reporter from Orem inquired as to what YouTube had to do with scholastic research to which Samuelson had no comment.
What is definitely apparent is that the order to demolish the Harold B Lee Library, the most prestigious and advanced information system from Spanish Fork to Salt Lake City has been utterly finalized by the Committee of Building Management. This Committee should be well know to most BYU affiliates as the ones who are also near completion on the Deseret towers project. But one of the biggest shocks that many students, faculty, and alumni are feeling is that there have been no efforts to salvage the resources inside. Over two million books, periodicals, and journals will go up in flame as well as all computers and electronics. This obscene waste of resources and materials is being appealed by a law suit from the Fulton’s, a predominate family responsible for the funding of many of BYU’s buildings. Brother and Sister Fulton have already donated 6 million dollars to the University of Utah in protest.
Surely, this is the beginning of a new and dark era for BYU students. We will have to rely on online resources to provide the learning and studying now. Traditional personal interviews must once again be common place among research. And heaven forbid the burning of the Library spreads to other buildings or else academic work might halt altogether. And the worst might still come if the entire campus burns down. Spooky, spooky!
A Sea of Glass and Mostly Fire: The Library.
BYUSA: Did They Bribe Samuelson?
BYUSA: Why Do They Hate Us?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
It could be just because you only have a few paragraphs, but I'm confused, what exactly are you trying to argue?
The title caught my attention but i just skimmed the second half of the blog cuz i couldn't figure out if it is seriously going to get burned down or if you were just trying to be dramatic to draw attention to the issue. I'm not sure what the argument is so i don't relate to it well but good job on the title.
Good title. The paper seems irrelevant though seeing that this is not an issue that we are to be concerned with. If this is the subject which you are writing your opinion editorial on you may consider making it relate more to us as BYU students. I do think that it was well written though.
hahaha This was hilarious! I loved it. This really had me going for awhile and you used ethos very well. Genius!
Post a Comment